My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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