Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
