so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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