I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
