do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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