We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
