oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
