Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
