sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
