thus making me awesome and them whores
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The struggles of a small town man whore
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
