I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
