and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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