he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
