can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Randomize
