She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Be still, my beating vagina.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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