You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
