Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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