just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
