hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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