Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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