This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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