Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You know, be my cock's hype man.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
