I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
