they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
