Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
