my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
