Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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