Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
