I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
