I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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