Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
