I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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