"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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