I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
