covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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