i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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