we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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