PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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