Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
