I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
