i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
