my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
