so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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