is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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