he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
