So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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