shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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