Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
