ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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