so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I stole a fireplace last night.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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